Just a tad bit nervous, I reach for my gown bag, which is hung on a hook, next to several other patients who are walking with me down this road.
Today is my first of twenty five radiation treatments, and even though I have been told what to expect.... I'm a bit uneasy.
I'm not supposed to feel a thing, but I can't help picturing my insides melting,
like that stupid scene in the 'Raiders of The Lost Ark'
Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't know what to do with your hands? Feeling a bit silly with my legs in a frog like position, laying on my back staring at the machines above, I'm given a rubber, elongated ring .
It does the trick, because now I feel like I am participating in this 'madness'.
Looking like I'm braced for the ride of my life, very determined and very courageous.... or maybe terrified half out my wits..... I'm ready.
Let's get this show on the road!
However, Jennifer and Gilbert (my radiation techs) haven't quite finished preparing me. They return with red and black magic markers and commence to paint a road map all over my groin area. "Be sure you don't scrub these off later, we'll need them to guide us in future treatments", instructs Jennifer.
She gives me a sympathetic smile and leaves the room to start the 'engines'.
At the risk of being a little revealing (pixeled out as best as I could - you can barely make out the black marker mapping), I wanted you to get an idea of what lying on your back, with your legs laying open, red lines lighting up your torso, staring up at radiation invasion, and holding tight to a blue rubber security ring looks like.
How surreal it all seems....
Here's a side view. The External beam radiation therapy will come at me with a machine that aims radiation at my tumor. It does not touch me, but rotates around me, sending radiation to my body from up above and from below.
All in all...it wasn't so bad. Before I knew it I was off the table, dressed and headed out the door with Joe for Mimi's party in less than 30 minutes.
I'm feeling covered, and protected, with my Lord Jesus by my side.
He's got my back...He's got this!
No longer feeling nervous or frightened I am reminded of one of my husband's favorite passages in Scripture;
"The Lord is my shepherd, whom shall I fear?" - Psalm 23:1