A discovery I thought I might not have to find.
After all, the Dr. said "maybe some thinning is possible."
But after I ran my comb through my freshly shampooed hair this morning,
clumps of strands were gathering.
Running my hand over the comb...and getting every last stray,
I threw them into the waster basket and started over...
carefully....from the top of my head to
the very ends...
I think I'm going to lose my hair.
God knows exactly how many hairs are on my head,
they are numbered.
I instantly pictured Him with a subtraction tablet in His hand,
marking off hair...after hair...after hair, counting
faster...and faster...and faster.
"Stop it! It's just hair'" I tell myself.
It's not like I had a luscious bunch of it anyways.
I mean...really...strings and threads; it's been thin all my life.
And...it will grow back.
Joe, being understanding and always the comforter, hugs me.
He kinda pooh-poohed the whole incident saying it didn't matter that much anyway...
I could get a couple of scarves.
I've actually been looking at a few of them...and then of course,
there are wigs.
Some of my friends have them and they have their own heads of hair.
This won't be so bad, I think.
As I stepped downstairs into the kitchen to put breakfast together,
I brushed away a tear starting to form.
What did I expect was going to happen anyway?
How did I think that I could dodge this side effect?
And, Joe, God bless him...he doesn't think like a woman...
but he hurts when I hurt and he wants to shelter me.
And wow...it certainly didn't seem to bother him that I may be bald...
balder than him!
He spoke my name and I looked up at him from the computer...and he stood there looking at me.
I didn't notice at first..but recognition started to set in and I saw that
he shaved his entire head!
I burst out laughing...he had done a pretty good job
(expect a small Mohawk-like patch in the very back)
There is nothing he wouldn't do for a show of support for me, I think.
A song my brother Chris sang at our 20th anniversary celebration 16 years ago came to my mind;
Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear,
I will be here
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
'Cause I will be here.
I will be here when you feel like being quiet;
When you need to speak your mind I will listen.
And when I will be here when the laughter turns to crying;
Through the winning, losing and trying, we'll be together,
Cause I will be here.
~ I will be Here ~ Steven Curtis Chapman