After thinking about it for a few days, mulling it over in my head and mentioning it to a few others , I approached Joe on the subject of our upcoming mission trip to Belarus.
Operating on my logic and reasoning... based on my physical limitations here lately... I've been leaning towards cancelling the trip.
In the bathroom every hour and bending over with cramps, and experiencing a few other unmentionable symptoms had me going down that road.
Upon waking this morning and before we got out of bed, I asked him to listen to me about my concerns.
As I sat cross legged and rationally pleaded my case, laced with concerns and objections,
Joe lay quietly and politely, and listened intently as I went on and on.
My immune system will be vulnerable, and we can't even drink the water.
I could slow the team down if I have a set back, and we're on a tight schedule.
What about the need to be near a bathroom? (I can't begin to ponder that one)
What about the money spent on airline tickets, could we get it back and then gift to someone else willing to go in our place?
Groaning, I rolled off the bed and into the bathroom.
When I returned, Joe sat up and took my arm in his. "Linda...where is your faith? You are giving into this without a fight. I don't know for sure if we will be on that plane to Belarus in September, but I do know we need to put our faith in the hands of the Lord and He will decide."
It was a good reminder...what I needed to hear. Even though the faith of a mustard seed is pretty powerful,
"So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20
I looked at the actual size...and my faith was small, even tiny.
I value my faith and I knew it had to be used...but not in my hands alone. I needed this prompt from my husband, my 'armor bearer'.
I'm placing my mustard seed size faith in the hands of my Savior, so that He can strengthen and increase it.
Leaving on a jet plane....it could still happen. I'm leaving it all up to Him.