Monday, September 5, 2011

Broken Pathway

The sound of rain coming down and the scratching of branches against the window are a comforting sound as my eyes gently open from my nap...but it stirs some loneliness in my core being as well. 

The long weekend is winding down and with it goes the happy sounds of many voices of family and visitors. 

The grogginess is lifting and listening to the soft whistling wind I recall the events of the past three days...

I relapsed a bit on Saturday after a sweet visit from my nieces...

my daughter, Tracy, convinced it started by being overheated lying on my beloved patio lounger. 

Upon awakening from a short snooze in the morning, I was overcome with dizziness and nausea. She beckoned me inside to the coolness of one of the downstairs bedrooms and I ‘collapsed’ onto the bed and slept for several hours.

My brother, Chris and his family came up to visit me that afternoon and it was the aroma of his wife, Jackie’s homemade chicken soup that aroused me. 

 As I came out to greet them, I sat down next to my brother on the couch and was overcome with emotion...and laid my head on his shoulder and cried. 

He comforted me and hugged me...and just loved on me. 

It did my heart good to see them and I thanked God again

for the gift of family.

My stomach spasms have been hard to control and I suffered with them on and off for the whole weekend.

Tracy worked beside me in every effort to alleviate my pain and discomfort

but I usually ended up curled on the end of the couch with a pillow watching the activity around me

...not wanting to miss anything.

Nicole and the kids picked up Joe’s mother from California and they arrived late Saturday night. 

 Sunday was spent watching church service on TV, and observing my family come and go, cleaning, made my sick heart merry.

As busy and as painful as the weekend was...Joe and I are sorry to see it go,

 but ready to face the regiment of radiation that starts up again tomorrow, with Chemo following the next Tuesday. 

After the week delay, I’m ready to resume and get this over with.

I'll close this blog with a question...

I wonder if you have ever heard this song? 

It has spoken to me lately;

"The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that you do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to."

~ If You Want Me To – Ginny Owens ~

I am Yours, Lord....have Your way with me



  1. i Love the way you write. The words just seem to come from you effortlessly. They are so calming and comforting to me. i sure have heard it Momma <3 its beautiful and i have listened to it several times since Sunday xoxo Love You Tracy

  2. I'm so very grateful for my family. We are the type that no matter WHAT, we are always there for eachother. I thank God that He is the Light of our lives and continues to shine thru ALL of us no matter WHAT.